...in the face!

things like this help me start my week off right.

 not sure where this is... but i'd definitely like to go. 

wouldn't you?

i can say that i've never been "called a 'nerd'", per se, at least not to my face...but after reading this, i have to wonder why?!

its me in a nutshell. and i'm proud of it! ;)

right? monkeys. 

word to your pugger.

my mantra for life, much less a monday morning. 

hope you have a good one!

xo

*all images compiled from pinterest, therefore are not, unfortunately, properly credited. if you know where credit is due, by all means let me know 

and i'll make it right! 

baxter, you know i don't speak spanish!

WORD.

i want your sax

because guilty feet have got no rhythm.

honestly, have you ever tried to dougie after taking too many pennies from the tray?!


ever macarena'ed after lying to the stewardess just so you could get upgraded to first class for free?

ever successfully done the electric slide after eating too much cake, drinking too much champagne and accidentally making out with the best man at your sister's wedding?

me neither.

if loving this is wrong, 

i don't wanna be right.

 i do, however, want a pair of pleather pants like sergio's. desperately.


xo

thank you to my awesome friend Janel for the gift of sergio. he's the gift that keeps on giving. cause even when you turn it off, the song keeps playing in your head. 
all. damn. day. 
enjoy!

wtf friday?!

hola! i've meeeeeeessed you. 

blogger was down all day yesterday! 

don't know what is going on, but that and the fact that i slept for maybe 3 hours last night has me a tad out of my tree today.

(of course, the fabulous Tim Walker.)

i am putting on a baby shower in the morning, and doing a few fun things for a "sprinkle" (2nd baby shower, for those of you who don't speak "baby") on sunday morning... so my brain is full. i did, however, write an epic post at 3:30am this morning that i'll post at some point this weekend. 

did i mention i'm the best mom ever?

just thought you should know.

some things getting me through the day today:

(via whitepeopleproblems)

starbucks, of course. they weren't out of anything, and i got a triple venti. 

but isn't this picture amazing?!

oh, white people problems.

(via pinterest)

(via plumprettysugar)

(via pinterest)

 (via avalonhotel)

(via plumprettysugar)

(via maison140bh)

the fact that in less than one week i'll be in los angeles with my husband. 

i haven't seen him in a month, and we all 

know what that means. 

(via pinterest)

(via laperla)

but before all of that... 

i have to get through the weekend. 

i hope you have something fabulous planned. 

this is what my friday night is going to look like:

(via thedecorista)

ahhhhh. i can't wait. 

here's hoping you have a wonderful, restful weekend, too. 

xo

today is brought to you by the letters w, t, & f

morning!

its friday. again! cray cray how that days of the week thing works, eh?

so excited to mark my first full week of blogging.

my anniversary, if you will...

(muahhahahahahaha!)

i'd like to thank God for giving me the gift of being hilarious, talented, and fabulous. 

he knows whats up.

also, thank my parents for instilling in me the dedication to do something for seven days in a row. especially with two children. 

major accomplishment.

of course i'd also like to thank my children, 

for being inspiring and ridiculously funny every day; for doing things like having tempertantrums in target and for writing on the walls in permanent marker, things which kind of force me to have an even bigger sense of humor; and for, essentially, giving me cause to keep trader joe's in business soley by buying all of their two buck chuck.

big props go out to my friends, who put up with my craziness & still love me (its because i'm awesome). who are patient when i say i'm sending a gift for their newborn baby and end up waiting 5 months, or when i run an hour late to my own birthday dinner. who not only accept the fact that i'm like a golden retriever puppy who gets excited about pretty much everything and piddles on the rug, but love me for it. who keep in touch with me from mountains, islands & suburbia, even when i don't do the best job returning the favor. 

(ok this was all meant to be satirical 

but now i'm getting seriously misty eyed...

nerd...forgive me...pms...)

to the fabulous mfamb, who is a friend & also my sister wife; she gave me the essential kick in the taco i needed to jump on this crazy blogger train.

lastly, but most importantly, i'd like to thank my husband, david. he took a chance on an amazing job opportunity, moved to california 8 weeks ago, and is working his ginger tail off to create a life out there for us so we can join him in a few months. this seemingly insane move has definitely pushed me over the edge mentally creatively, giving me 

a lot to vent write about every day.

i love you babe, and can't wait til we're in the same time zone.

wtf, you say? seriously? no. not seriously. 

i'm messing with you. 

(this is not an april fool's joke. i told you i was never funny on purpose. though if i should trip & fall or break something today--pretty much a guarantee--i'll let you know later.)

yay coffeeeeeeee! 

now to the good stuff.

for your discerning opinion, i submit the following items this friday morning:

katy perry's new single & video w kanye.

apparently aliens have a thing for 

people with vitiligo.

also, katy has deer legs. and we get to see vinnie vitiligo's bum.

up next: 

this disturbing sight. 

if you could milk yourself...wouldya?

ewwww. 

now to get that image out of your head...

got this little gem in my inbox, and i have to wonder...

wtf?

will my huge following of male readers be flocking to the daily candy website to learn how they, too, can spend hours in the bathroom in the mornings applying their perfect shade?  

don't get me wrong, i'm an actor. men wear makeup on set/in plays/photoshoots/etc. there is also time & place for makeup on men... clubs, special nights out.

(via tumblr)

my gays can probably attest to this. 

(how can i say that without sounding horribly discriminatory?!)

hell, i've even been known to put concealer on a guy friend/brother/husband should 

the occasional blemish arise.

but i swear, if my husband asks me what season he is, or starts applying some masquliner or manscara, we're gonna have issues.

although...

(via tumblr)

if this is what happens when men wear makeup, 

i'm on board. big time.

lastly, have you seen these adorable twin babies?!

(i know, its quite a jump.come on over.)

they are having a full on conversation at what, 12 months? so adorable. this kinda makes me want to procreate. ha! there's my april fools' joke! haahahaha. hahaa. ha.  ha.        ha.

are you playing tricks on people today? 

do you think this blog as a whole is a well-executed, if drawn-out, april fools' joke?

have you ever been punked on april fools' day?

lemme hear it.

have fun today, kids. just remember...its all fun and games til somebody starts shoving random items into body crevices. then its just gross.

xo